No On Senate Bill 827: My Letter to SF Supervisors

April 16, 2018

The following was emailed to the SF Board of Supervisors on April 1, 2018.

Dear Supervisor Peskin:

As a relatively new addition to District 3, I respectfully request that you oppose Senator Weiner’s SB 827.

Like you, Supervisor Peskin, I’m a millionaire. Actually, Wells Fargo owns most of my home, so I’m merely a thousandaire. But I want to be a millionaire, so more housing cost appreciation, from less housing creation, is my ultimate hope for achieving my aspiration. And I don’t have any kids so what do I care, plus, there’s just no room to spare.

Let’s keep San Francisco exclusive, and affordability elusive. Please remain obtrusive, to those YIMBY morons who want us to be inclusive.

All that money for higher-density housing and public transit – density & public transit, in California! – when it could be for a wall, not just to our south, but to the east and north as well. (Thank God for the Pacific Ocean.)

More immigrants? Maybe even refugees? And those DACA kids? Teachers?! Our solemn duty as San Franciscans is to protest – we love a good protest here in SF! – the unfairness of their plight. But not to house them as if it were a right.

Keep SF for True San Franciscans. Native San Franciscans. True Californians. Let’s make California great again Supervisor Peskin.

That nonsense Senator Weiner keeps talking about regarding ending sprawl. There’s still plenty of pristine land to sprawl on. And plenty of oil to burn to fuel our cars. Sprawl and cars are what made California! Just look at all those oil rigs dotting the seascape along the coast. Drill baby drill. If the local Sierra Club condones sprawl why shouldn’t we? Plus our current President says there’s no such thing as global warming.

Speaking of presidents, I’m personally relieved that Obama is out of office. His Housing Development Toolkit of September 2016 – issued directly from the White House! – called for ridiculous initiatives like SB 827. He even suggested that local barriers to housing development ultimately diminishes the supply of affordable housing, exacerbates income inequality, increases displacement and gentrification. I’m thinking, so what? I know we’re number one in socioeconomic stratification, but I have a nice view outside my window and the waiting time for a table at my favorite bistro isn’t too bad. Know what I’m sayin’? I’ll attach a copy of Obama’s paper here just for laughs.

Can we at least introduce an amendment to SB 827 that will allow us to curate the newcomers? I think some kind of screening process to make sure they’re our kind of people would be a reasonable safeguard measure to protect our beloved neighborhood quality. I volunteer to staff a desk at one of our city’s borders. I’ll wear my SF First button.

Or we can immediately declare all of San Francisco one big historic district so no one can build anything anyway, unless it’s super high-end luxury that passes the gigantic mitigation fees on to the buyers. We’re already pretty good at using farcical claims of historical relevance to protect and promote racial and economic inequality while forcing more luxury housing development. Historic garages. Historic laundromats. Historic hothouses. Historic fake tunnels. Let’s blanket the city in historic district protectionism!

I imagine you read about the dead shopping mall in Cupertino that will be converted to 2400 new homes. The City of Cupertino clearly dropped the Historical Dead Mall designation ball. (There was a Sears there, for goodness sake.) Senator Weiner strikes again; this kind of streamlined housing development cannot stand, and we look to you to protect our land.

Our nation looks to San Francisco as a beacon of progressivism. And rightfully so. If there’s a protest to be made, a march to join, a banner to wave – we’re on it! Just let us know. But to house these people that want to live here? Come on, let’s be reasonable. We can’t be asked to do everything. In fact, speaking of banners in support of your resolution, how about: San Francisco: We Were Here First!

Straight Outta District 3,
Elvin Padilla, Jr.

P.S. I’m proud of my former Supervisor, Jane Kim, for her strong leadership. As District 6 Supervisor, she assured the many poor living in the Tenderloin’s firetrap 8X10 rooms that they’ll be safe from the newcomers coming to mid-Market. (I know she recently rolled out a campaign-inspired clean streets campaign in mid-Market – a big threat to our poor families – but she resisted nobly for several years and should get credit for it.) Now, as mayoral candidate, she’s telling the housing-appreciation millionaires (HAMs) in West Portal that they’ll also be safe from newcomers. That’s a neat parlor trick. I especially like her mayoral campaign slogan: This is Our City. Take It Back! As our current President recently demonstrated, nothing gets people to the polls like raising fear of porous borders. I know I got my Make SF Great Again cap ready.